As I reflect on the 2 years since my open heart surgery I thought of a list of things that I wish the post op-nurses and doctors would have told me to prepare me for my recovery here are some of the things that they did and did not say:
What they did say- It will take you a year to recover, tell someone if you start to experience symptoms of depression, call us if you have lots of fevers.
What I wish they would have said: It will take you almost 2 years to recover, the first 2 months you won't know what hit you.
I wish they would have said: You did some bad things that you felt guilty for in your 20's but nothing can prepare you for the guilt you are about to experience. You'll feel guilty for not holding your baby for 2 months, and for neglecting your older kids for the next 4 months. You'll feel guilty for resenting your friends and sisters for being a better Mom than you. You'll feel guilty that you are a 30 year old woman and your Mom has to come over and help clean your house. Why didn't the nurses and doctors tell me about all the guilt!?!? Do they not train them for that in nursing and medical school huh, huh?
I wish they would have said: You don't need to go back to the gym 5 days a week 2 months
post-op. You don't. No, Seriously, Don't. It will probably do more damage than good.
I wish they would have said: Don't worry about the scar, no one cares about it, you won't be able to remember what you look like without it, and you won't even see it any more after a year.
I wish they would have said: Now you get 2 birthdays! Your actual one and the one on the date that they stopped your heart and breathing for 4 hours. Celebrate them both by buying yourself something pretty.
What they did say- It will take you a year to recover, tell someone if you start to experience symptoms of depression, call us if you have lots of fevers.
What I wish they would have said: It will take you almost 2 years to recover, the first 2 months you won't know what hit you.
I wish they would have said: You did some bad things that you felt guilty for in your 20's but nothing can prepare you for the guilt you are about to experience. You'll feel guilty for not holding your baby for 2 months, and for neglecting your older kids for the next 4 months. You'll feel guilty for resenting your friends and sisters for being a better Mom than you. You'll feel guilty that you are a 30 year old woman and your Mom has to come over and help clean your house. Why didn't the nurses and doctors tell me about all the guilt!?!? Do they not train them for that in nursing and medical school huh, huh?
I wish they would have said: You don't need to go back to the gym 5 days a week 2 months
post-op. You don't. No, Seriously, Don't. It will probably do more damage than good.
I wish they would have said: Don't worry about the scar, no one cares about it, you won't be able to remember what you look like without it, and you won't even see it any more after a year.
I wish they would have said: Now you get 2 birthdays! Your actual one and the one on the date that they stopped your heart and breathing for 4 hours. Celebrate them both by buying yourself something pretty.
5 comments:
Happy Anniversary! That is definitely something to celebrate!!!
Amy
That is so beautiful! I can't even imagine what you've been through. I love the way you did this post. You're absolutely right--you have 2 birthdays! Amazing miracle! Celebrate. :)
Happy anniversary! You are special that's for sure. I don't notice your scar at all. Why did you go back to the gym that fast? What were you worried about? I can't believe its been 2 years. I can't think of anything pretty enough to buy to celebrate! What did you get?
I remember you saying one of your doctors said they could give you something to make the scar less noticible, to which you replied, why would i do that?!?! I earned it!
I'm glad your alive, stronger than most women I know, stronger than you realize.
You are incredible! I love that you just say things how they are and are honest with your feelings and let us all share them with you! I think you are basically the bomb! Thanks for being my friend!!!
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